The Internet Affair

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Am I cheating, by liking someone, and flirting on the Internet? If I have found a soul, that readily engages me, and seems to be another person I might want to know more fully, is this cheating? Some of the few regrets I have in my life, are from not following through with possible relationships.

I have nearly met a few women, that were so interesting to me, that when our eyes locked, my heart rate actually rose. We even smiled at each other, and knew there was a connection of some kind. I didn’t pursue many of those possible meetings, mostly out of fear. Fear I might not measure up to another’s expectations, based on a look.

I am not particularly handsome, or buff and only of average height at 6 feet tall. I know all of my physical flaws, and am certain many are only too obvious, upon seeing me. I don’t dress to look stunning, or to impress anyone. I dress to protect my body from all of the dangers of every day living, cuts, scrapes, bruising etc.

The fact is I have spent the better part of 40 years cultivating a scary look, to keep others at a distance, so I might remain unknown and apart from others. This strategy has worked fairly well over the years, allowing me to remain aloof and not having to be in the company of too many others. I have held on to my own self imposed privacy until recently.

I like the Internet, probably for many of the same reasons others do. The anonymity is great, as we don’t have that face to face thing, getting in the way of various interactions. We have the ability to hide what we don’t want others to see, so I am not just plain ugly here. If we are ugly or nasty in other ways, it soon becomes apparent over time, through our posts.

If I like the way you are, or at least seem to be, I will probably leave a comment on your site. I don’t try to be rude, although I do try to be interesting, so you will feel compelled to get to know who I am. I don’t lie, cheat or steal, as those things are the ultimate wrongs, but if I like you, I may flirt.

That doesn’t mean I want to be with you in any sexual, or even physical way. It means you inspire me to be more open and engaging. Is this cheating? I won’t say things to arouse you, as that isn’t cool, but I will be open and honest, and if I have any feelings toward you, I will say so. If that scares you, I am sorry.

The best part of The Internet affair, is we can be as open or shut off as we deem necessary, and we don’t have to have physical contact, allowing for a continued anonymity for everyone. Is this fair to you? Are you threatened or being misled by these statements? Can we be friends in this manner?

I invite a discussion on these questions, and hope you will be willing to answer some of them. Tell me if I have overstepped your boundaries, and I will back off.

27 thoughts on “The Internet Affair”

  2. Thank You! That was Beautiful! I’m not very techno-savvy, but give me a crochet hook, or needle-and-thread, I’m your girl! Appreciate your talent with visual-wizardry, I’m so envious!
    I am very pleased to make your acquaintance.

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  3. Hello, friends. This is Rusty’s “ball & chain” I use the internet name of Libetha. My comment to this blog was that flirting with a myriad of people is not cheating, it is a way of communicating, putting others at ease, making conversations easier. I am not threatened by it I use this very often in my communications, also.

    If there were a “particular” someone who my sweetheart decided to flirt with, or not flirt,but was exchanging endearments back & forth with, perhaps, but not what he does on his blog. I should also mention that, being a typical male, we will be married 25 years this May, and, stereotypically< he got the anniversary wrong! Go figure….Lol

    I am, and have been, involved somewhat with his blogs, and feel I know you, at least a little bit, and we share our accounts, someday you may see a blog of mine on this site. I hope you don't mind. I do think that everyone needs to vent, and that there is not enough love and kindness in the world today, anything we can do to reach out to others is important, and friendships, whether face-to-face or on the net, are a basic human need. There is too little caring in this day and age.

    As my other half stated, I also do a fair share of flirting, and that is how we met, while I was waitressing, and have always called everyone "Hon" & "Sweetie"-although I should confess that is partly because I am horrible at remembering people's names! I do believe that there is a line that exists between the "friendly flirting" and a real emotional connection/commitment, and that if that line gets crossed, it can damage the relationship between committed partners.

    So, anyway, I wanted to add my voice to the chorus, and not have anyone get the wrong idea. Thanks for your kind attention. Hope you don't mind-(just hope you realize that I'm on my best behavior right now, as I tend to be the sassy, Flo type waitress) Have a good night, or day, depending on where you are.

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  5. Well, I think the technology is making people paranoid. Out on the street, do you not smile at an attractive person as they walk past, with no intentions of carrying it to another level? Do you not see an attractive person in television or movies and think, “Wow.” At a restaurant, are you not just a little bit nicer to the server that is a little flirty with you? In other words, do you not flirt a little back, with no intention of carrying it further? When has that ever been considered cheating? What makes doing it behind a computer screen any different?
    A lot of insecure people out there.

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  7. I think that people are delusional at times. It’s a like button and a comment box but I have seen people whip out partners and sexual orientation at some irrelevant juncture. There was one person who had to come out as a girl because another girl apparently had a crush on her and I thought the whole thing is so sad. Another subscriber writes erotic fiction but had to write three posts about his partner. I thought, is someone stalking him? I mean, it’s kind of hard to not get people excited and pursuing you if you’re writing erotic fiction. No one is proposing marriage here. They’re just talking to you. Likewise, I was subscribed to a blog of a subscriber, and when the person was not supporting me I stopped because I felt inappropriate. It is interesting that the person has now popped up and is appreciating and commenting on posts on my blog. People are silly like that. Sometimes, they’re too lazy to think for themselves.

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      • Exactly. I have a related post but I’m not sure when it’s going to be published as I’ve got things in the cue, but it is timely so I’ll try to bring it forward. This is annoying to me and I really had to do a long curse out version, which will have to wait until May. But a short version is on its way. People are crazy. They’ve got blogs and it is a community. People are going to talk to you. If you don’t want people talking, then the comments can be disabled and like buttons hidden. It’s not that difficult. I think people are just passive and just let things happen to them and don’t see where their power is. I’m very saucy myself, and I am sure that things I’ve written got misconstrued, but that’s why I appreciate people asking me a question. People also don’t read or pay attention to what’s happening right in front of them and they just do a quick assessment instead of trying to understand what is going on. It’s silly, that’s all.

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      • Yes it is silly. Do you have the larger portion of your blog already planned out for time of post? I blog by the moment. If I see a blogger in trouble, I re-post their troubles right away. I don’t make plans as they always get fouled up.

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      • Yes, I’m pretty ruthless like that. Thank you for asking. I am busy at work, so if I have a burst of energy, I work on something or some paintings and then line them up for publication. I think that my best work has been reactionary, spur of the moment, off the cuff. But that’s not something you can produce all the time. This way, I have a balance and room to breathe.

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  8. I’m not sure if you are inviting just your friend to comment on this, or anyone, but considering the fact that I have a really hard time keeping my mouth shut, here goes.
    You are wondering where the line is? The answer is different for everyone and as far as I can see, the only two people you are responsible for staying the line with ahead of time are you and your wife’s lines. Someone else’s line may be in a different place than yours, in which case, they should communicate that with you in an adult manner as opposed to making the assumption that you are crossing your own lines.
    If in fact a person can not communicate as an adult and instead throws accusations at you about crossing a line. Probability is, they feel that they have crossed their own line and don’t want to take responsibility, and/or don’t feel they can say “I need to back up a bit.”
    Of course these are just my thoughts, so, feel free to ignore! Ha!

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