1995 Geo Metro
( ” I’ll have to backtrack a bit to fill you in on what’s been going on, with my feelings, ownership, and travels “.)
” I was given to a girl, and although she did take pretty good care of me, she just up and quit driving with me one day. I overheard a conversation she was having on a phone type device, and she had stated she didn’t really need me anymore “.
” She wasn’t aware I was listening, and didn’t notice when I leaked tears, at not being needed. I just continued to sit in that wonderful paved driveway, for months. I felt totally ignored and unwanted, and had I been able to just go away on my own, I would have been outta there “.
” To be fair to that girl, she did take me out once in a while, letting me get all revved up, and on really cold days she sometimes started me and allowed me to warm up. She wasn’t all that bad for a girl, and she always talked nice to me, not like that guy. You know, the one with those huge damn dogs, who had a habit of swearing at me ‘.
” One day in May, she suddenly started paying attention to me. She added oil, to my low crankcase, gave me a huge drink of water and some slimy sweet green stuff. I don’t know what that was all about, as the girl loaded my back end compartment as full as it could get “.
” My poor shoes were squishing down, with all of that added weight. I never understood these human types, shoving stuff in me, cramming stuff everywhere it might fit, and all the way up to my inside roof. I never felt so bloated as that. It was even worse than having those stupid dogs crowding around in me “.
” With all of that sudden flurry of activity, I felt sure I would be cruising freely down the road! I was so excited, I almost made a mess on that nice clean driveway. And then, nothing. Sitting there again waiting to be loved and driven, even by that silly girl “.
” I think it was about the end of June, the girl got me all fired up. Fifteen minutes later I got to get out there, and out onto the wide open roads, just cruising. It was nice to feel the breeze flowing across my form, and my side glass was opened, so I could feel fresh country air blowing in my insides. Even the stuck old dog hairs were blowing out of me. It felt really swell “.
” What a great day! We cruised over the close mountains following a road I vaguely remembered. This highway would eventually take me back near where that guy and those frigging dogs lived! Maybe I was just being paranoid, but it was starting to look like that might be the case “.
We stopped after 6 hours of out right cruising, and where we stopped was all to familiar. It was the WalMart parking lot only 50 miles from those dogs! That truly pissed me off, as I had thought we were going somewhere new, and here we were, most likely heading for the dog place. I was beginning to feel pretty dejected “.
” Damn! I was right. The girl was in the store for nearly an hour, while my black outsides were being scorched by the heat of the day. Then, when she did come back, she managed to shove another 50 pounds of crud into me. Want to talk about that full feeling? I almost felt like I wouldn’t be able to move, even if I had wanted to “.
” An hour later I was horrified! We were going up that damn dirt trail, everyone pretended was a road. Now I knew it, I was probably going to have to deal with that long haired freak, and those smelly, drool-dripping, hair-shedding overweight dogs again. How could any life be as bad as this? I really don’t think I would ever have imagined a worse case scenario, and I can imagine an awful lot “.
1995 Geo Metro
” So, it turned out I was right! Here I was out in the country, and having to be back with all that hard life stuff…You know I mentioned the trails, they’re not roads, even gravel will only disappear into crevasse, never to be found again.
At least, the Squatchy guy, ( Yeah, I finally figured out what to call him ) seemed to know how to miss the nastiest places. Of course as it turns out, he has no respect for my outsides. I never got washed by him rubbing on me. He had a gentile touch, and was decent about not expecting me to be fast. He didn’t jump on my pedals, and in fact it seems like he didn’t trust my pedals, but who knows? ”
” He didn’t run into things and all, but he couldn’t care less about my finish. He lets brush, and tree branches scratch me! And then he just ignores them, and lets my scrapes get filled with dirt! Do you know how that makes me feel? Well, the scratches are okay, I’m just ranting, because he does things with me and I’m not sure I should! ”
” I know you’re wondering just what those Things are, so I ‘ll only say he hauled 55 gallon barrels of water in me! Here we are in the effing mountains, and he hauls barrels of water, and the two, hundred plus pound, each, dogs. And they’re crowded in the next side seat, Straddling my console, and They Won’t Sit Still! ”
” In all fairness, ” Squatch ” tries to ditch those fur balls, when he goes to fetch the water. They always find him while he runs a pump to fill a huge barrel, in my back seat. I guess he just lets them ride back, because they get in the way of driving. Stupid Dogs, always in the way! What an inconvenience…”
” One day ” Squatch ” got me loaded with only a few things. He removed the trash, and kinda swept me out, and only put a couple of cover changes, and coffee and sandwiches in me. I figured we were going down to town, maybe to the library to get some WI_FI? We ended up leaving at sundown. ” Squatch ” was that way, when he drove places. Sundown, just as the sun is going behind the far peak, he heads out “.
” This time only him and the Mrs. No dogs somehow….He must have tricked them, who knows or cares, it was a nice change. So we headed down the mountain, and after a while I realized he was really going somewhere. I was nearly to Wenatchee, along a part if the big river we were following, when a big deer jumped right in front of me! ”
” Squatch stomped on my left pedal, and steered me around it, and just as we got straightened up to the line thingys, a little one did the same thing! It actually bumped me. It broke one of my light lenses, as Squatch tried to miss it. I got pulled over, and got looked at, and then squatch ran back to the now dead deer. It was already in the opposite lane place, and was still being run over by trucks, and cars “.
” He dragged the dead as a dead deer gets, off of the road, and came back and really looked at me and fiddled with my parts. I guess he figured I was fine, as I was not limping or anything, so he made me keep on going. So I never stopped except at gas stations, and went to a place in California, non-stop! ”
” I ended up in Redding, at about 9:30 am, and got parked. I spent a whole week just parked. Kinda nice. It felt like a crowded place. I was always hearing cars and buses. Lots of human voices and stuff. Almost to the hour, I got fired up and made to go really fast on a super highway “.
” I remember this as though it were yesterday. I was made to follow some flashy new SUV, and it was fast! I had a hard time with it, and was getting kinda hot. Squatch seemed to know about my troubles, because, he stopped for an hour and gave me a great big drink. I never thought I could get so thirsty. I once did, but he figured out a way to keep me refreshed, when my front water box got messed up. He fixed that almost right away”.
” My water was blowing out of me, and he didn’t even know! He gave me a bunch more, and we drove until I hurt. I pinged my pain at him, and he would stop and let me cool, give me more water and start the cycle all over again. I couldn’t show him where my water was going, I think it blew out of my front water box overflow tube, and it didn’t make a noticeable trail. The water didn’t hit my other hot parts, so it was just gone without a trace “.
” I remember hearing him mumbling about water pump, head gasket, thermostat. What’s a thermostat? Anyway….We were right in the middle of the mountains, and it was a long up hill battle to get to each place he stopped to get more water and let me rest. It felt to me, like he wasn’t going to fix me, he just kept stopping sooner and sooner “.
” The trip went downhill from there. No only down the mountains, but there were no more water stops hardly. ” Squatch ” just drove slowly, not pushing me, and talking to me with the sweetest promises. Great rewards awaiting me, for being so amiable, and compliant. I wasn’t going to let him down! ”
” I didn’t get water for over 50 miles, and was barely able to keep going. ” Squatch ” pulled off of the big paved highway onto a city type street, that had a much lesser speed limit. I could feel his impatience as I made my way through the city. I was burning up! ” Squatch ” was swearing about no parking lots anywhere, just frigging driveways, and kept making me go “.
” My insides were on fire, my oil was burning, and clouds of smoke were pouring out of my everywhere! I was really starting to stink, even inside, all of my burning parts were in trouble. He nursed me over a hill, and pulled we to a stop at some parking lot. I remember him telling the Mrs. ” if it dies here, at least we can get parts, and maybe nobody will worry about a strange car for a day or so. It’s only 3 or 4 more miles”. I was encouraged about how close I was to be able to get there “.
” I didn’t know where there was, but I figured if he let me rest and get cool again, I would be willing to go to the ends of all the roads that would ever exist. ” Squatch ” checked me out, touching me in just the right places, and gave me more water, and lots of fresh oil. He told me I was great, and gently closed my lid. I had been there for about an hour, and it was really dark now “.
” Dang! Not even a mile down the road and I am already starting to stink again. ” Squatch is probably scrap me if I don’t complete the drive I started. The heats getting to me….The smoke is happening again….He’s stopping! He actually pulled into a driveway and turned my power plant off. He was patting my number panel, and saying sweet things…..I was sure he would be pissed, me having all of that trouble….He just told me, I made it, I did great! I could never ask for more “.
” Squatch checked me out that very next day. Apparently he got me new pieces, and tore some of my nasty stuff off of me and cleaned me up. If you ever want to have a good time, let ” Squatch ” handle you, you won’t be sorry! He gave me a new water mover, and blocker thingy, new high class oil and even a new filter. I got lots of fresh cool water and more of the sweet slimy green stuff “.
” Squatch turned me on, and even though I still wasn’t feeling quite right, I let my power plant hum. He hadn’t shut my lid, so I guessed we were just going to sit here and see what happened. I hate suspension…All of a sudden I felt my water blowing outta me again! ”
” He was watching for that I guess, because he made me quit my power functions, and diddled with my water box overflow chamber. He put more water in me and made me turn on my power plant again. It was a funny feeling, a kind of tickle somewhere inside me. I could feel hot water running out my back pipe, and I guess he saw that too. He made me quit again and stated something about head gasket. ”
” Squatch only made me try to work a couple of times since October 25th. Now it’s spring, and he told me to tell you Blog folks what has been happening. He said he would have to leave me in a place called Reno, for another while….What are BLOG FOLKS? ”
” So, here I am waiting for ” Squatch ” and telling you how my life has become a non-life. I hope he comes back soon…..”